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A Tale of Sinuses, a Bladder, and Avoidance

This post is going to get a little personal—and not in a sexy way. If reading about stress incontinence would be too traumatic for you, then consider this your warning. Click away if you can’t handle...

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Are You in the Mood for Sex?

“Do you feel like having sex?” he would ask me. Most times, I would seriously think about it: Do I feel aroused in any way? Is there something else I need or want to be doing instead? Do I feel...

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The  Power of “And”

When I was in fifth grade, I was part of the playground safety patrol at school. Before school and during recess, I got to wear a white safety patrol belt and stand at the northwest corner of the...

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Reach for Intimacy

Some of you are hurting in your marriages. Perhaps, like the woman I was for so long, much of your hurt stems from things that you brought into your marriage—trauma, sexual sin, inability to trust, or...

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Six Things to Know about Emotional Disconnection

I spend a lot of time here writing about our husbands. That grows out of my own experience. I’ve written about the difficult moment when I realized how deeply my husband had been hurt by my sexual...

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Stop the Power Struggle

When I was a little girl, I promised myself I would never let a man have power over me. I saw several examples of marriages in which men had all of the power and women had none. It scared me. I vowed...

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Do You Let Your Emotional Wounds Fester?

We all experience hurt in our marriages from time to time. Our husbands are imperfect humans. They are not mind readers. They have their own issues. Sometimes they are going to say and do things that...

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Three Steps You Can Take to Work on Sex Right Now

If you’ve decided to work on the sexual intimacy in your marriage, that’s great! But where do you start? When you think of all the things you need to do, it can be overwhelming. Here are three things...

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Can You Learn How to Have Sex (Again)?

  My husband’s biggest complaint about our sex life wasn’t the infrequency; it was my lack of real engagement and participation and the lack of genuine intimacy between us. After years of maintaining a...

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Be Strong and Courageous

It’s been nearly five years since I began the journey to work on sexual intimacy in my marriage. This journey has been a lot of hard work—and has resulted in far more blessings than I could have...

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Untangle Your Mess

I had a tangled mess on my hands. I’d gathered empty hangers from our bedroom closets and had carefully placed them in a laundry basket to carry to the laundry room in the basement—which I then did...

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The Strong-Willed Woman

When our dating relationship got serious, Big Guy began to make jokes about what he referred to as the Taylor Curse: Taylor men marry strong-willed women. Who wants to be viewed as a curse? “It isn’t...

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Conquer Your Complacency

Note: See Lessons from a Wife’s Heart for an introduction to this post. For many years in my marriage, I had a hurting heart—some because of my own baggage and some because of my husband’s words and...

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Giving Up

  Hillsong’s Hosanna includes the lyrics “break my heart for what breaks yours.” I think of those words every time I receive a message from yet another hurting spouse. Surely God’s heart breaks for...

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Healing at the Pool

During the years of our sexual disconnection, Big Guy often would point out that our sex life was, well, broken. Even then, through the fog of all my own baggage and hurt, I could see that for myself....

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Is a Sex Hiatus a Good Idea?

  Last year I was trying to knit with a new kind of yarn, so I watched an instructional video. It made perfect sense in my head what I needed to do, so I turned the video off and tried to knit with...

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How Growth Looks

We often think of growth as something with steady and visible movement. Whether that growth is physical, mental, or spiritual, we expect it to look like something is actually growing. Growth doesn’t...

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Guess What Your Guy Needs

I don’t take responsibility for meeting all of Big Guy’s needs, because some things are for him to seek from God, not from me or from our marriage. Some of his needs might indicate areas where he...

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Learning to Apologize: Working on Thought #1

Join me on a journey through Sheila Wray Gregoire’s 9 Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage (affiliate links throughout this post). If you would like to be part of our book study group, use the form...

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Are You Sexually Alive?

In one of my earliest posts here, I wrote this: I began to read about the great joy that comes with a good sex life. I was seeing models of what could be, and I began to want some of that. Instead of...

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